Mirror World 2/3

Mirror World (2/3)

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

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When I read though, I forget about the Mirror World. It doesn’t matter what book I read, it’ll always hold my full attention. You see, I really love to read. I longed for new knowledge, especially about Potion, Charms, and Runes. Yes, I do study, unlike your assumption that I bribe the professors to get my marks.

I’ve probably read as much books as Granger has, if not more since I have more access than her.

I lost myself in the book once I’m reading. I have no time to worry about my surroundings, much less about an imaginary world. Maybe that’s why I often spend my time at the library. Every free time, my friends know where to find me. I even skipped dinner sometimes, only because I’ve found an interesting book.

My friends never bothered me once I enter library. Crabbe and Goyle certainly are allergic to book and knowledge so there’s no way they will follow me there and the other Slytherins know it was useless to accompany me since I’ll immediately lost in my own world, not responding to whatever they said.

That’s why, I was surprised when someone suddenly yanked the book I’m currently reading away from me.

“Hey! What—“ my complain dies in my throat once I see that you are the one who stole the book .

You have frown on your face as you read the book title, do you know that? Your nose wrinkles so slightly, almost like you don’t believe anyone will ever want to read the book.

“Advance Potion, Extreme Potions for Masters.” You mumbled, reading the title out loud while raising an eyebrow to me. Your green eyes shine with amusement. I just can’t stand not teasing you when you give me such a blatant challenge like that.

“What,” I drawled, my usual smirk ready on place. “just because you don’t have enough brain to read it, doesn’t mean everybody cant, Potty. I, unlike you, am very capable of making potion after all.”

You actually surprised me when you reply my smirk with your own. “Git.” You muttered but that word hold no venom at all. “No wonder you are Snape’s favourite student. Although, I still can’t see why anybody will want to stay for such a long time making stinky and gooey liquid.” You wrinkled your nose again in disgust and I must keep my smile hidden.

“You just say that because you’re jealous that I’m better at Potion than you.” I answered nonchalantly. I heard you snort disbelievingly and glared. I straighten my back, ready to confront you seriously this time.

“So what are you doing here alone, Potty? Where are your sidekicks?”

You shrugged, completely unaffected by my glare and I sneered hatefully at you. “Don’t sneer at me like that, Malfoy. Honestly, I do wonder if you could make out any other expressions other than that, sometimes.” He sighed and flopped himself down on the chair right across mine.

I scowl. “Who gives you permission to sit there, Scar-head?” I sneered. The nerve of him, sitting there and relaxing like we are friends!

“Oh, cool off, Malfoy. This is a library, I don’t need anyone’s permission to sit.”

“You need it if you were sitting across from me.” I replied in a hiss. Sometimes you can bring the worst of me without even trying, you know that? Simple remarks from you and then I’ll feel very mad. You don’t care though. You never do care about anything that I said and I don’t know why, but it hurts. Merlin, it hurts so much that I can hate you more just because of that.

 

“Well then, if you said so, may I sit here, Malfoy?” You ask me, but your voice and your eyes make it a challenge. What you mean to say is, “Are you afraid if I sit here?” and I know it perfectly why you said it like that. I never can back down from a challenge, especially not one from you.

“I’d rather not be disturb by your moronic actions and stupid bed head actually, Potty.” I snap. Your eyes narrow dangerously now and I can almost see your temper rising. Ah, so the Gryffindor is still short-tempered after all. Nothing like the cool snake.

You let out a small sigh, almost unrecognizable if I am not watching you so closely. Your eyes shine with... disappointment that quickly being replaced with anger and I feel my heart shatter... again. “Whatever, Malfoy. You’re such a git. I wonder why I bother.”

I can only watch as you stand up brusquely, your hands are fisted until your knuckles are white but you shove them into your pockets where no one can see how hard you control yourself.

For what, though? What are you controlling yourself for, Potter? Do you restraining yourself for hitting me? For yelling at me? Or is it something else...?

I can feel my temper rises too. I don’t know why, but you make me feel humiliated by nothing at all. I stand up and before knowing it, I am shouting at you.

“Yes, you shouldn’t bother with me, Potter! After all, I’m just a junior Death Eater am I not? I’m totally worthless compare to the Saviour, am I not?!” I can hear myself chuckling without humour. “Oh Mighty Potty, you just can’t help it when you see a poor, misguided children like me, can you? You are hoping you can take me to your side, fighting the Dark Lord. You are hoping I will leave my Family so easily just to help you doing what is right,”

You are turning around now, green eyes blazing as dangerously as magic swirls around you. You are always so powerful, you know? You can’t control your power though, that’s why it’s swirling so dangerously... so beautifully around you whenever you’re mad, just like now.

“Malfoy...”

Your voice is a mere hiss of dangerous snake, a warning for a fool like me. I ignore it though, just like you who never care about what I said, I will not give a knut for what you said either.

“Well you know what, Potty? Tough shite! I will not do it! I will not abandon my Family just to save the Wizarding World because you know what? I don’t care about the World where my Family dies. I don’t think you can understand though. After all, you never do know what FAMILY feels like, do you?!”

I know I overstep the border almost as soon as I said that, but I never realize when you’re moving. Next thing I know, my head bumps against something hard and the sound of books falling from their shelf can be heard around me. I shut my eyes with a hiss. A dull throb is starting and I feel a little bit dizzy.

“Shut your trap, Malfoy,” you hiss so lowly and yet, I feel fear run along my body by that sound. “You do not know anything about me. You do not know anything about what I want so you can shut your trap now about all of your self-pity and petty assumption because you know what? You worth nothing. NOTHING at all. You and your family. You all are beyond redemption and I don’t even know how I can think otherwise.”

Your green eyes pierce into my silver ones. They are so bright, but from this close, I can see small flecks of brown contaminating the green. Ah, so your eyes aren’t truly your mother eyes at all. Your father is also shown there.

“If I do worth nothing, then why are you still here...?” my voice is a whisper. I don’t know why I bother to lower my voice since if Madame Pince has not come to throw us out yet when you throw me against a book shelf, it can only mean that you are casting a Silencing Charm. Wandless and Wordless Silencing Charm.

Something flickers in your eyes and your hands loosened slightly. “I don’t know.” You murmur. “I don’t know why. Maybe I just don’t want to kill you. The thought of you... on the other side of war... the thought of me, holding and pointing my wand to you on the Final Battle... Killing curse on our lips...” your voice broke and you take a shaky breath.

I see you then. Truly seeing you. Do you want to know what I see? I don’t see a man who can save our World. I don’t see a Hero. I see a boy, a small boy who is torn by responsibility. A boy who wants nothing of his role, yet unable to escape from it. I see myself in you. I see Harry behind the Hero.

“We can’t escape though, Harry.” I whisper.

Your eyes widened as you stare at me. Astonish by me using your first name, I guess. I give you a small smile because just this time... just this one time, I’d rather think this is the mirror world where I can show you all my feelings. No more hiding, no more masks.

“We can’t escape from our fate, Harry,” I continue, hands moving to cup your face so tenderly. “You will beat the Dark Lord. I will become a Death Eater. We will fight each other. That is our fate.” You close your eyes, almost like you want to block the words. “But Harry... if I have to die, I want to die by your hands, by your wand.”

“My life is an expensive thing, Potter. No one deserves to take it. No one... except for you.”

A tear run down your face, Harry. Do you know that it hurts me when I see that? You’re so beautiful, Harry and yet... you’re holding such a big responsibility that it breaks you. Can’t your friends see it, Harry? Can’t they see that you’re breaking? Maybe they see it, but you just can’t let them in, can you? Because they won’t understand... because they are not being pushed by the same responsibility.

“Harry Potter, promise me.” I tilt your chin with my index finger. Your green eyes—glassy because of the tears—beg to me for something... anything. I just smile. For as vulnerable as you are, Harry, I don’t think I’ve ever see you stronger than this. “Promise me Harry Potter, that you won’t let anyone but you to take my life.”

You open your mouth. I can see you trying to object it but then you see my eyes. You stare into them, entering my soul and searching whatever answer you need for your question. Then finally you sigh.

Your forehead touches mine when you whispered, “I promise” with such a broken voice I can’t help but cry silently.

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TBC